Washers History

History, as we have learned over the years, is told from the perspective of the person recording it.  That being said, this is our best attempt to track down, decipher, translate, and re-tell the history of washers...

On the seventh day, God didn't really rest.  Having created the world, he was bored, but being the all powerful creature that he is, he was not really that tired.  So instead of rest, he decided that he would create something even more magnificent than the world and all its inhabitants, he would create WASHERS!  God saw what he had created, and he saw that it was good.  Evening came and morning followed, the seventh day...

Hence the game was born.  God considered sharing his most treasured creation with man, but being the wrathful, mean, moody, and generally spiteful God that we have come to believe he was during the "Old Testament Times" he decided NOT to share.  Instead he hid the secret of Washers in the Tree of Knowledge.

Enter Adam and Eve.  Restricted by the rules of virtual paradise, they too grew bored.  They were, after all, fashioned in God's image, and we have already established that God was prone to bouts of boredom.  This boredom led to curiosity, and their curiosity led then to defy God and eat from the tree of knowledge.  God, of course, quickly slapped them out of the Garden before they could finish their wicked treat, and while they did not learn the full secrets of Washers, the seed of knowledge of a game much greater than themselves was planted.

This seed lay dormant through generations of humankind as we toiled for survival.  The seed could only flourish when the mind was truly bored, and the labor of bringing food and shelter from the earth was tough.  But as time passed and technology advanced, early humans were at last left time to become sick of having so much extra time.

The earliest recordings of the secret of Washers emerging from primitive humans' minds are in cave paintings found in southern Wisconsin.  Although these paintings were thought for many years to be paintings of celestial bodies like the sun and moon, it is now widely accepted by people who don't know any better that these drawings were in fact early designs for the game.  In the beginning primitive humans used flat stones and threw them at a stationary pointed rock with a circle drawn in the dirt around it.  This is where the term "Rock Washer," a venacular term for the game that still persists to this day, was born. 

Washers then traveled up through the ages relatively unchanged from the Rock Washer days until a crafty Wisconsin carpenter started building wooden structures to help play the game.  It was this carpenter who replaced the pointed rock with the hollow PVC pipe (also known as "The Bucket").  This advancement added a new dimension to the game.  In these early days of "Modern Washers" the jovial Wisconsinites would have to "chug" an "adult beverage" every time the opposing player or team successfully landed a washer in The Bucket.  These forefathers of Modern Washers brought the game to the dimensions that are still used today in "Traditional Washers."

The next big movement for the advancement of washers happened when Washers was first introduced to Colorado.  Having been so enthralled by the game after witnessing it being played at his fiance's house in Wisconsin one fateful 4th of July, one Colorado man brought together a small group to study the ancient game.  They formed the "Backyard Washers Guild" and they toiled for hours building the first Washer Boards ever seen in the state.  They were the first to decorate their boards and washers with elaborate designs and they adopted the term "Stadium" to replace boards. 

The original Colorado stadiums were "Gotham", "Stop & Go", and "Two Tone".  With these monuments to the great game, Washers started to flourish and grow.  Games and tournaments were played daily and became lore and legend.  The original Guild members played for over 10 straight hours at the "Wash Park Corn Cob Classic", High Waters broke the 1st bucket ever on his home stadium "Gotham" on a blazing hot afternoon at the "Staybridge Masters", and an amateur whose name has since been forgotten blanked Follow-Thru 21-0 to take the trophy at the "PTC Wash Park Invitational"

The momentum of the game going into the winter of 2003 was sky high, but that would all soon change.  On a dark and gloomy day that winter, Ace High had his car stolen.  Unbeknownst to the assailant, he had stolen more than a car, he had taken Stop & Go stadium and with it the heart of the Washers movement.  The Washers Guild sunk into a dark and desperate time.  Games were played only occasionally, and Washers was talked about around the camp fire as one would talk about a good friend who has passed.  Drinks were poured out to lament the loss of Stop & Go and for the glory days that no one thought would ever return...  It was truly the dark ages for Washers.

But sooner or later, boredom always prevails.  Ace-High went back to his workbench and a new stadium was crafted to replace Stop & Go, "Yield".  In celebration, The Dominator called the original Guild members back together on a calm spring day, and they celebrated as the first washer was thrown out.  With that washer the dark days ended, and Washers is seeing a renaissance like none ever seen before.

In addition to Traditional Washers, there is also now Washers Express, and there are rumors that a prototype for Washers To Go is being built in a basement somewhere in Lakewood.  Some say that a new game that resembles Golf with Washers is even on the horizon...

So where will it all end?  Will humankind ever uncover the secrets to the true pure form of the game?  Will this renaissance be the eye of the storm followed once more by darkness and despair? 

Some believe that as long as there is boredom in the world, as long as there are people with too much free time, then Washers will always have a home...